When I think about the idea of me channeling hotness, it comes from that place of mine deep in my soul when I was watching Wayne's World with idiot boyfriends with the idea of about how to channel "hotness" to attract boys like these kinds. I've always liked rockers. It has been a pleasure to befriend rockers during lunchtime when I had transferred high schools during my Junior year and I had few friends.

This was a time when I decided to experiment with social groups. I sat with two rocker guys at lunch for the whole year, and then we never saw one another during the day. It was only at lunch and I thought they were so fun! I always told them truths about my feelings and asked them questions about the high school culture. They were insightful and always went to concerts and had lots of stories about musical interests.

What I discussed with them helped me to assimilate into the school culture. I moved to live with my dad because I never had a lot of personal time with him, so this was a satisfying invitation. I also was fleeing my first crush and was heartbroken that we dated and he broke up with me. I remember feeling like I couldn't walk through the school looking at him without feeling heartbroken. So this was another reason that I thought it would be a good idea to transfer schools. I had also cheated on a Physics test and had lost face inside of such a small school.

This was the era of my life when the idea of "beautify" began to emerge into my vocuablary. I recall so much good happening by switching schools. With a larger pool of students, it meant that you didn't have such a small group watching you much like a small family. We grew up together. It was fun to expand a social circle and discover new kinds of folks. I remember feeling like the theatre kids were exotic.

I remember feeling uncomfortable in my skin. I always approached the mirror in a way to check my look. During this era, I had a lot of tension with surrounding tenuous relationships. I didn't understand this at the time. I often wondered to myself why my face was tense and sharing an image of myself that I didn't recognize.

This actually started when I was much younger and I didn't think that I could actually look the way I did in photos. How could I be so sad and guarded? As I grew, I became more confident. Then, after braces came off, I was very confident! I was the class president for as long as I can remember. It was a sweet role to take on with such a nice group of kids. We hosted dances, did biscuit fundraisers, and did a lot of community bonding that I remember so fondly.

This act of beautifying in community shaped me in a way that I now understand was the act of community as a family. That is the way it felt to me. I now understand the feeling with this articulation.

To beautify means to make much out of less. To make nothing into something. Beautifying could also be looked at as jsuzzing. Fluffing and spiffing up that which is flat and unfluffed. To put a ribbon on something to make it look fresh.

I love that I grew up in a place where folks are always beautifying their places, homes, cars, and selves. During the 70s and 80s, most folks bought seasonal clothes, home décor, and took care of the things they owned. People who didn't beautify with this kind of schedule, tended to be what some identify as "trashy". It is a threshold of class, where poor folks have pride and dress as if they were rich, as much as they can. It is a priority to have fresh new and pressed clothes and most still live within this outline. Trashy folks are good folks. Not everyone needs to adhere to social standards. This is one of the reasons why I love a California lifestyle.

California living presented early that I could have a simple year-round closet with little need for much investment. I lived in Oakland in Rockridge and Berkeley, so casual ruled the social occasions. It was the height of grunge and some of that leaked into the hippy and on-trend club music that I found in the Bay Area.

Within California living, I found the seat of my soul. With a new example of lifestyles centered around local organic food and tolerance of others' ideas, I became enchanted in a place that was so welcoming to me to renew my way as a young woman who relished a simple and less fussy way of organizing a life.

Beautifying through simple living amplified a new luxury that I didn't know about until 1994. Within the new connections of friends, we came together monthly to share the ideas of simple living with the group and teach a lesson to us. I remember teaching about feng shui, and didn't know to much about it.

Feng Shui is a discipline involved with placements of objects in the home which reflect the geography of the home and the energy inside and around the house. Within this practice, the energetics of the home has a big influence on the individuals residing in the home.

Beautifying spaces like a home is a distinct canvas for sharing how important your home space is to your health and vitality. The space you keep allows for a range of energetics in the mind, body, and soul.

Listen up, gorgeous—fifty-plus isn't a finish line. It's a starting point for the most delicious chapter yet. You've earned your confidence, you know what makes you feel alive, and honey, it's time to let that inner fire show on the outside too.

The Playground Epiphany

I'll never forget the moment at the playground when everything shifted. I was watching my kids climb and swing, and instead of just being "mom on duty," I found myself dropping into a spontaneous Pilates sequence on the grass. A few sun salutations. I also did some core work while the kids exercised climbing structures and trees.

It was precisely when my kids were six and two that I had a deep feeling about my own person and how I want to live. This is the moment when it hit me: I'm not going to let myself go. Not now. Not ever.

Being a mother is beautiful, but it's not the only thing I am. I've always identified as someone attractive, someone who moves through the world with intention and presence. And that playground became my training ground—not just for my kids, but for the commitment I made to myself that day.

Let's Talk About That Inner Spark

The real secret? The most potent beauty product isn't in any bottle. It's the confidence that comes from knowing exactly who you are and what you want. When you walk into a room owning your sensuality—not apologizing for your age, your body, or your desires—that's when the magic happens.

Your beauty routine becomes foreplay with life itself. You're not getting ready for someone else's approval. You're adorning yourself because you deserve to feel stunning, because pleasure is your birthright, and because the hotness you're channeling comes from deep within.

The Permission Slip You Don't Need (But Here It Is Anyway)

You're allowed to:

• Feel sexy at any age

• Experiment with bold makeup

• Show some skin if you want to

• Flirt (with life, with yourself, with whoever deserves it)

• Take pleasure in your own reflection

• Prioritize looking good because it makes you feel good

• Return to things you loved before you became "just" a mom

• Take up space with your body and your presence

The Bottom Line

I loved that era of my life—the playground revelations, the ballet studio homecoming, the calisthenics victories. And I genuinely believe every woman over 40 could benefit from doing some self-discovery work to bring a fresh embrace to the decade of the 50s.

Because beautifying yourself after 50 isn't about looking younger—it's about looking like you, only more so. More vibrant. More confident. More unapologetically alive. When you take the time to honor your beauty, you're not being superficial. You're celebrating the incredible woman you've become.

The woman who did Pilates at the playground while her kids played. The woman who transformed old conditioning into self-determined standards. The woman who walked back into a ballet studio and remembered that her body is still capable of grace and power.

So go ahead. Apply that bold lip. Wear the dress. Book the facial. Dance while you do your skincare routine. Take that movement class. Channel every ounce of that accumulated wisdom, that hard-won confidence, that delicious sensuality you've been cultivating.

Because darling, you're not just aging—you're becoming. And the view from here? It's absolutely scorching.

What makes you feel most beautiful? Have you rediscovered something from your past that reconnected you to yourself? Share in the comments—we love hearing what ignites your inner fire!